Friday, February 8, 2013
A plea for possibility, hope, and love.
Dear Martha – Why is it that every time I mention casually, that Valentine’s Day is around the corner I get an eye roll, a scoff, and a general bolt of negative energy from most everyone? (that’s not “everyone” but I would say it’s most of the people I know with the exception of a special few). What’s up with hating love? I don’t at all get it. Yes, yes, I’m aware that people think the holiday was created by Hallmark and other card companies to drive revenue….you know what, blah blah blah. I love love, and I love the celebration of it, and I love getting a card from someone who loves me, and I love sending one to someone I love. Why does engaging in Valentine’s Day make you a sell-out these days? It’s completely depressing. Since you …
Friday, February 1, 2013
Without trust, there is nothing.
Dear Martha, The quote you included in last week's column really resonated with me, "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." (Erica Jong). I think the logic in that quote is so spot on, it could be deemed scary. At least it scares me, and I think if we all looked at ourselves for a minute with that realization in mind we might be hit with a heavy wall of reality. Anyway, that's what happened to me last Friday after reading your column. As much as we don't want to ever admit it, love is the center and ultimate goal in each person's life. We crave love so deeply that we surrender often our dignity in the name of keeping harmony and feeling loved. So I'm with this guy. I use the word with because …
Friday, January 25, 2013
"Dear Abby" may be gone, but she will never be forgotten.
Dear Martha, Abigail Van Buren died last week and it's made me want to read your column and study it. Almost like I'm trying to channel her back. Granted she was a professional, doing it for years but there was something really honest about her advice and I'm searching for it somewhere else. I didn't know her, but her writing made me feel like I did. Life really does throw curve balls every other day, and something about reading her responses, even if she was responding to something you'd never actually been through felt like you gained the wisdom to possibly deal with it in the future. Anyway, the loss of Abby feels really hard, lucky me for having a few friends who can offer a similar in-person ear. Are you suffering from her loss…
Friday, January 18, 2013
These sleepy months can be some of the best.
It has not been a boring few months. The angst among my friends is high and we all seem to need a bit of re-focusing. With angst comes questions, worries, stresses, etc. etc. etc. Needless to say there are way too many thoughtful questions to answer so I've decided to put together a Top 10 list of "Little Things to Make January and February Fantastic." Here goes: And you should probably throw away all the above "shoulds" and start from scratch. Ha!
Friday, January 11, 2013
It's not all supposed to make sense, a lesson in letting go.
Dear Martha - I just moved here and I came thinking I knew exactly who I was, what I wanted, where I was going and what I was looking for in a partner/lover. Maybe my confidence was a flaw: they say once you think you know who you are another bend in the road comes. It might only be separated by a slim channel of water, but there is something different going on here, a really good different. I thought the whole "Island life is different" was just an exaggeration. My oh my, was I wrong. My question is very girly in the end, it's really all about love. I had a type. I could predict my type. I knew when I saw him, and I knew how to have a relationship with his kind, right. I've never been more wrong. But, I don't want to see it as wrong…
Friday, January 4, 2013
Should I stay or should I go?
Dear Martha, It's not easy, you know. And those who pretend it is are desperately trying to make it work, they might have a great situation, or just landed on the Rock in the past week. Well, I didn't. I've been here for what feels like a while and I'm in a bind. I am highly educated and experienced, I have all those "highly recommended" assets you see on a job description but I don't feel, well, valued here. More importantly, I feel like America is literally calling my name from the perspective of possible relationships, jobs, and hobbies. Better question, am I being completely shallow and short-sighted? I do love it here but I feel like I need to explore a bit. Moving away feels insane but that's the zone I am in. Have you been here …
Friday, December 28, 2012
In the meantime we have a few days to go.
- THE NEIGHBORHOOD FILES
- Kat McCourt
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Friday, December 28, 2012
Dear Martha, Is it just me...is the idea of a New Year daunting? I love the idea of starting fresh but for some reason this New Year feels like a lot. I feel as if I need one more month to reach a level playing field before jumping into resolutions, fitness goals, and budget cuts, etc., etc., etc. Does anyone else feel this way? Thanksgiving, Christmas, after Christmas, and then I'm supposed to have a refreshed, healthy, sound self to start the new year? I don't have that feeling. A bit of New Year's Advice? Just please tell me I'm normal... – New Year, New Me, Maybe in February Dear Maybe in February, Keeping up with the Jones' is a life long struggle. Granted it doesn't exactly apply to what you're saying yet in a way it does. It …
Friday, December 21, 2012
Attempting to make sense of the tragedy in Newtown, CT.
- THE NEIGHBORHOOD FILES
- Kat McCourt
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Friday, December 21, 2012
Dear Martha, The tears won't stop flowing and it feels like they shouldn't. I can't stop thinking about those little souls and this is coming from someone who doesn't know a soul in Newtown. I cry also for the parents and the families of every single person directly affected by this. But, relatively speaking, my indirect position in it all feels just terrible. Please help me to understand what tomorrow should feel like, please help me to process this grief while also respecting and honoring the immense greif of those who actually lost someone. Someone said to me I need to get over it, "You're being dramatic now." I don't think so. I am feeling this and I can't pretend that I'm not. Please advise. – I'm Here but I Feel Like I'm …
Friday, December 14, 2012
The struggle to love what's actually there, not what you hoped might be, and isn't.
Dear Martha, It's been one of those sweet 'n' sour seasons, (emphasis on the sour). My friends and family are begging me to cheer up and start looking on the bright side of things but my daily life here on Martha's Vineyard is just plain bringing me down. The trouble? I love MV, hence the sweet 'n' sour element of the conundrum. Does this ever happen to you? Does it happen to any other sane people on this island? Am I the only one who is the constant Negative Nancy and then every morning wakes up happy to be here? I must be crazy. Advise, please, soon, help, thank you. – A case of the Bittersweets Dear Bittersweet, Disclaimer: I know you sent this in a few weeks back. I apologize for not getting back sooner, if it's any …
Friday, December 7, 2012
Translation: Martha's Vineyard has my man's heart and I'd like more than a sliver.
Dear Martha, I have a handsome, caring, intelligent island boyfriend who loves to cook for me. He's great with my family and tells me I'm pretty, constantly. We laugh together, travel together, and generally have a ton of fun just being around one another. So what's the catch you might be wondering? All those endearing features I list above happen in the months of January and February, let me explain. My man is a talented and busy carpenter so from March to May he's working constantly getting in all his big jobs before the season begins. Summer rolls around and bass fishing begins, he splits his time between work and those large fish. The lovely month of September rolls around and soon I become a "Derby wife," seeing my man rarely, for …
joy
5:51 pm on Friday, February 1, 2013
I went into this not being sure I'd like the advice...but the advice is spot on. more ›