Dear Martha: Throw Away Logic, Let Love Rule

It's not all supposed to make sense, a lesson in letting go.


Dear Martha - 

I just moved here and I came thinking I knew exactly who I was, what I wanted, where I was going and what I was looking for in a partner/lover. Maybe my confidence was a flaw: they say once you think you know who you are another bend in the road comes. 

It might only be separated by a slim channel of water, but there is something different going on here, a really good different. I thought the whole "Island life is different" was just an exaggeration. My oh my, was I wrong. 

My question is very girly in the end, it's really all about love. I had a type. I could predict my type. I knew when I saw him, and I knew how to have a relationship with his kind, right. I've never been more wrong. But, I don't want to see it as wrong. What's happened in my few shorts months here is the most refreshing, exciting adventure of my life thus far. I am attracted to men who I would never have noticed before, I feel more free to be me, and I don't think so much. 

Martha's Vineyard has me breathing new air, do I need meds for this or is this normal?

-What's Happening to me?


Dear Newbie - 

You hit the nail on the head, Martha's Vineyard might just be separated from America by a sliver of salt water but the separation does exist and it's not purely geographic. This might sound hokey but, there is a certain element of magic and whimsy here, that's why it's so hard to leave.

You sound like a smart girl. You might think of Martha's Vineyard as something similar to the legendary Sirens in Greek mythology. Luring sailors to their shores and causing shipwrecks and peril. Take away the peril and what you might find is that there is something intangible about this 20 square miles of paradise surrounded by reality. The "whatever-you-might-call-it" permeates everything, friendships, love, business, et cetera. 

What hit you is the classic struggle between logic and love. Like oil and water they don't mix, they are polar opposites. When you lived in America you analyzed it all; it all had to make sense, everything needed a cause and effect. Your life was governed by logic and that permeated your love life and therefore you had a type. No offense but what you had wasn't love at all, it was a quantifiable experiment. 

Martha's Vineyard gave you the space to stop letting your heart be governed by your brain.  They are two different organs for a reason. Logic would have kept Romeo away from Juliet, but love brought them together. It made no sense, but that was the beauty. Star-crossed lovers who couldn't control their attraction. Love can't be controlled. 

Maybe you let your guard down finally; the island has the ability to do that to people. How lucky are you? Do you feel for the first time really truly alive? Do you see yourself in the mirror and smile? You've put logic in its place and let love come in when it should.  

I'm sure all your friends from America are on their way here, how could they not be?

Cheers to you for stepping out of that box you were trapped in.


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