This post was contributed by a community member. The views expressed here are the author's own.

Health & Fitness

ISLAND DRIVING

This is for those people who didn't like my last post!!! Remember...this is supposed to be humorous. Tongue-in-cheek...always!

People who learn to drive on Martha’s Vineyard are at a distinct disadvantage driving anywhere else in the world. Not just Boston or Rome but even Falmouth can present a ‘first time off Island’ driver with things he has only read about in the driver’s manual. Street lights, for instance. Oh, everyone here knows  about them. There has even been talk of putting one where Barnes Road crosses the Edgartown-Tisbury road (which provided months of fodder for the Gazette op ed page) but saner voices prevailed. They built a round-about which to my knowledge only exists in Massachusetts. But I digress. 

 For drivers used to four way stops, a very genteel way of dealing with an intersection in my opinion, a stop light doesn’t always register. In fact, after living here for thirteen years I find myself completely confused at stop lights when off Island.  It takes me a while to figure out why nobody is stopping to let me out. At first I figure it is just rude off Island drivers. Then I think maybe the drivers aren’t used to the rules (like in the summer). Then it slowly dawns on me that it isn’t a four way stop. By that time the light has changed and I sheepishly go on my way.

Find out what's happening in Martha's Vineyardwith free, real-time updates from Patch.

Another thing an Island driver gets no practice at is going over 45 MPH. MPH, incidentally, means Maximum Per Hour here on the Island, but not anywhere else. On every other road in the world it means Minimum Per Hour. Or at least I think that’s what it must mean because when I drive the speed limit ‘over there’ I am always the last one to get where I want to go. People whizz by me like I’m standing still. This can be unnerving if you’ve never experienced it before. It can be unnerving even if you have. Not to mention if it’s a tractor trailer that’s doing the whizzing. I think maybe the drivers ed instructors at the high school should be given permission to have at least one class in the middle of the night when they can take the students down the Edgartown-Tisbury Road full speed ahead so they will know what it feels like. Who knows? Maybe they would get it out of their system so they won’t be tempted to speed other times. Not that I’m naive enough to think the kids on this Island don’t speed. My own daughter has paid a couple of those inflated fines. I do think it is less common here than in other communities, however. Who wants to be embarrassed by a cop who says, “Wait till I see your dad.” Or, “I’m gonna tell your mom to take your keys away for a couple of weeks. How would you like that?”

Since there aren’t any highways on the Island there aren’t any entrance ramps. This is something I still feel inadequate about. Umpteen years ago when I took my drivers test (a humiliating experience at best-even if you pass) the testers (usually off duty corrections officers from the local prison) just made you parallel park and do a three point turn. As long as you didn’t have an accident or speed in a school zone you passed. How did this prepare me for driving in the real world? I still equate the entrance ramp with the Indy 500, and frequently pull a nerve in my neck trying to merge into the traffic. Should I go slow and wait for an enormous space between two cars or should I go like a bat out of hell and hope they look out for me? This is not something that was covered in the drivers manual. And what chance does a kid who learned how to drive on Martha’s Vineyard have?

Find out what's happening in Martha's Vineyardwith free, real-time updates from Patch.

One thing they won’t have to worry about off Island are generous, polite drivers. You know the type. They stop to let you out of Cronig’s parking lot just for GPs. Or they wave you ahead if you’re both headed for the same parking space. This just doesn’t happen anywhere else that I have ever driven a car. I love it when I’m cruising a lot for a space and someone with a gift shop bag in their hand waves and says, “I’m leaving. Follow me.” Where else does anyone even care that you’re looking? The thing is, here on Martha’s Vineyard, if the drivers didn’t care about each other there would be chaos.

 Maybe there should be a requirement for all drivers in the state to come to the Vineyard and drive around for a few days in August in order to get their drivers license. This would either decrease or increase road rage. I haven’t figured that out yet.

We’ve removed the ability to reply as we work to make improvements. Learn more here

The views expressed in this post are the author's own. Want to post on Patch?

More from Martha's Vineyard