Don't Call Me Ma'am

It happened about two summers ago when good friends were visiting with their little boys. We did the normal frenzied hellos as everyone poured into our house. My kids approached with guarded interest and squeaked out a meager hello their kids called me....wait for it..... Ma’am! 

Huh? I am a Ma’am now. When did this hideous turn of evens happen? Must have been when I turned 65 and moved to the South. But no, I was fabulous and 40 and lived way too far above the Mason Dixon line for Ma’am to be considered anything but an insult (right up there with “hey lady!”). I think my mouth must have fallen too far open because I soon felt an elbow in my side from my husband. Lord knows he hates a scene so I closed my mouth and introduced myself as Audra. Just Audra no Mrs Myerberg and no Miss Audra which I felt might be coming later. 

Look, I like the South, I love formality and I raise and admire polite children but please don’t call me Ma’am and I wont call you sport, kiddo, junior, young man or any of the other pet names kids hate. 

As I stood up from my not so formal introduction to said Ma’am caller, I was quickly pulled to the side and told that the children would either be calling me Mrs. Myerberg or Ma’am and which did I prefer. I didn’t know wether to laugh out loud or run in fear of choosing the wrong friends to spend a long weekend with. My Mom’s voice grew louder in my head and did battle with my own and “they can call me Mrs. Myerberg if you want to be that formal but I’m not expecting my kids to do the same with you” flew from my lips. My husband’s eyes rolled at my not so PC response and that was that. 

But that weekend really opened a can of worms for me. My kids have known some of my close friends since they were born and it just seems odd to me to have them call them Mr or Mrs So and So. They are practically family and I dont call my family by their last names. Although, that being said, it might help class things up a bit come family vacation time. “Excuse me Mrs. Myerberg, would you please stop leaving all of your dirty dishes for me to clean up?” 

So I took the subject up with several fellow Moms of all ages and geographical locations and boy did I get an earful and a difference of opinion. Yes, most agree that kids these days lack formal social skills and are not as respectful to adults as generations past. I too will agree with that and I do work very hard to teach the kids excellent manners. My Mom friends in the South hear Ma’am and Sir daily and Miss So and So is big with the little ones in school. My friends in the North are OK with their kids calling an adult by their first name if it is OK with the adult. Most start off with a full name intro and then go from there. 

Now I know this isnt a North vs. South thing but it was an easy example. My friends out West are just as split on this topic. I think it comes down to personal preference and we have to respect how parents want to teach their kids manners. Just don’t call me Ma’am.